Wednesday, December 29, 2010

Thanks Rob Ford: For Putting Toronto in touch with its Inner Detroit

Thanks to Rob, we’re an internal combustion city again, a city of the Great Lakes, up there with Buffalo and Cleveland, humming on the wheels of motor town, twinned with Detroit, our inner Detroit.

Thanks to Rob, we’ve abandoned our Amsterdam cycling perversion.

Thanks to Rob, from coast to coast to coast, let the word go forth that we have no elitist culture in this big town of banks. You’ve done more for national unity by taking away any reason for Canadians to hate us than the National Ballet of Canada ever could.

Thanks to Rob, we don’t have to aspire to the dreams of Jane Jacobs, let alone those of David Crombie, and John Sewell.

Transit City’s burning, thanks to Rob.

Thank you Rob, for easing the pressure on us to be Alphaville. Best of the Betas, an Indytown is who we are.

Long live the Gardiner Expressway, Toronto’s carbon emission belt, belt that keeps us chaste from water, cafes, theatre, and learning. Thanks Rob.


Anonymous said...

Ford has never met an alternative energy or transportation source that he doesn't want to get rid of.

If only windmills could fuel cars.

Jamie Laidlaw said...

Yes this idiocy is painful and thanks for mentioneing the National Ballet which my generous grandfather Mr. R. A. Laidlaw and other elitists supported through thick and through thin. Now if only the fat man would get thin enough to work for all the people all the time!

Anonymous said...

Rob - thanks for keeping the Gardner so that companies can get product to market and perhaps still make enough money to keep their employees employed. The bikes just couldn't haul the big loads. You're the Man!

My Cat Knows Better said...

All politicians have a "limited shelf life" and come with a "best before date". I suspect that Rob Ford's policies will start to look a little stale before too long. Unfortunately, he and his disciples can cause major damage to the city before they are done. Its significant that the right always accuses the left of being spendthrift but forget that they believe in getting something for nothing, not exactly the fiscally responsible light they wish to shine on themselves.